私とよんかわいいネコたちのブログです~ あいしでる... 知らないの?
--年--月--日 (--) | 編集 |
2007年12月16日 (日) | 編集 |
i dunno what it was
but tonight i suddenly thought about her
it's been over a year since she left
and yet i still cant get over it
tears start to fill up my eyes
and i can barely see clearly through them while typing this entry
my heart aches
i miss her so much
she loved me so much

but i was useless
little did i do and little could i have done for her
i still regret
and i still think back from time to time
whether we should've acted more aggressively
so that she could have had some time to say her last words
to settle things that she feared to leave behind

though come to think of it
it was a good thing she left so peacefully
relatively painlessly

i cant imagine the consequence of fighting the disease while letting the monster grow
it might have destroyed her beautifuly face
it might have caused her a lot of discomforts
it might have affected her mood and self-esteem

i cant stop thinking about her
only god would know
what was the best for her

i know she hears me
i miss you so much
and i really, really love you
so much

actually.... come to think of it
i sort of clicked
perhaps it's cos i was browsing through my little cousins' photos
she's posted all these old family photos onto her facebook...

she's been a very brave young gal
to be honest... i wouldnt know what to do if i was her
i certainly wouldnt be able to cope if i lost any of my parents at that age

we havent been as close as we used to be in recent few years
but i would really love to hear about everything
anything that you might like to tell me
i would be happy hearing from you, from time to time
even if it's about your sore throat, your sore tooth, or even a new skirt that u bought, or a party u went to...
i just want u to know... i'm always here for you if you ever needed me
cos you are my one and ONLY little gal cousin
i love you
and i mean it
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