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2007年10月06日 (土) | 編集 |
terry
(1990-2007)

he came to us when i was in primary four
i still remember when i first found out that he was coming to us
my parents were discussing how to take care of this "thing"
what food to give, how to bath that "thing" etc

that night
on returning home
this fluffy thing rushed to the door
hmmm couldnt see the eyes cos were covered by his fur
little fringe tired up into an everted spring onion
thus
presumed to be a gal by me at first sight
of course later on i found out that he was a 1 yr old shih tzu mixed little boy

my mom adopted him from one of her ex-colleagues
terry belonged to this guy's mom
but she had no idea how to look after dogs
just like a lot of people who treat animals as toys
terry had a lot of fleas and ticks on him
so she took him to the pet's salon
her son (i.e. my mom's colleague) started asking around if anyone could give this little boy a home
so my mom thought, why not give him a try?
there she went to the pet shop, saw terry
paid the cost for grooming
and took him home, on her lap, in public transport

terry came with his name
we never thought about changing it
and it totallly suited him
the shih-tzu terrier mix

we never realised how attached we would end up getting with this little boy
in the first few years, when mom was still working
terry spent an awful lot of time home alone
bored
and sometimes doing magical things
for example
we end up finding him in the kitchen and god knows who opened the door for him

when my parents went on holiday
terry would be looked after by my aunt
who owns a little store with ppl playing mahjong
so terry acted as a dog in the little store
and i'm sure a lot of the kids around the area has played with him before

as time goes by
mom quited her job
became the official housewife
we spent more and more time with terry
and isnt it just natural
to build up this bond between us
he was smart
he could jump high
he could run fast
he knew when to shut up
he knew how to please my girlfriends by turning over on his back and play dead

he's been through so much with us
he moved houses with us
i hardly remember my life without a dog

and before i moved out
the accident i will never forget
mom was digging this huge mattress out for my new flat
and it suddenly fell
and terry was squashed by the mattress
i couldnt stop crying on that day
i thought he would be injured
rushed to the vet's
x-rays showed no fractures
but showed a huge tumour in the heart
apparently, the most likely diagnosis was a malignant tumour that spreads very quickly along the blood stream
we opted not to do anything to it
cos we didnt want him to suffer
as he already went through a lot in the past
since then we have adopted the expectant attitude
over 3 years have gone by
before he started deteriorating

nature
is cruel though
gradually
he started to become paralysed
probably due to the jumping and running when he was a kid
his spine is completed crooked
perhaps some element of cord compression
bottom half of his body was almost deprived of muscle bulks
started become incontinent
requiring nappies
however, still very very very good appetite
still very happy
still welcoming
apart from on and off nose bleeding which stopped by itself
he was still our happy puppy

edna
our previous helper
really helped us a lot
terry seemed to like her too
and she really spent a lot of time taking care of him
(let alone the fact that she didnt have to cook for my parents)
however
she suddenly designed in august because her father was ill

after she left
terry couldnt deteriorate more
eating less
sleeping like 23.5 hours per day

didnt eat anything at all yesterday
mom knew
we all know what that means for a puppy or a kitten
brought him to dr susie... gave him some antibiotics
but today
even worse
dr susie was on leave
so she rushed him to dr betty's in kowloon city
dr betty
have i not mentioned
is one if the most beautiful women i've met
because she loves animal with all her heart
she genuinely loves terry
despite not having seen him when he really was the cutest

she suggested giving him a little chance
perhaps replacing the fluid might help
although
terry has lost almost 1 kg over a few days
probably anorexia
plus severe dehydration
she put him on the fluid for a day
but
he was still very tired
couldnt even put his head up

dad called me at 6
5 minutes after i fell asleep
during my post-call recharge nap
saying that
terry probaby wont make it
and they want to make him comfortable

i quickly drove
to kowloon city
there terry was
still eyes opened
i touched him
mom told him i was there
he jumped a little bit
wanted to look at me
but couldnt, with his late-stage cataracts

there i sat there
couldnt say a word
couldnt seen anything because of the tears in my eyes
i heled him close in my arms
for a long while
told him to sleep if he really was tired

he seemed to know everything
and accepted our suggestion
perhaps he really was too tired
gradually
he fell asleep
fast asleep
shallow breathing

i put my hand on his chest
feeling his weak heart beat
and of course
feeling his skins and bones too
my heart was torn
i have never been so upset before in my life
i was about to lose my growing up companion

dr betty came in
suggested that it was the time
dad signed the documents
told him that we will all love him forever
dr betty briefly explained the procedure
gave him the excessive dose of anaesthetist
my hand
could feel his heart beating slower and slower
and in the end
i could only feel my own pulsations

dr betty confirmed
that he has really left

i couldnt let go
i sat in the room
i stroked his forehead
i held him for over half an hour
knowing that i got a ticket from parking randomly on the street
i looked at him
i wanted to remember his face in my heart
i dont ever wanna forget him
like the way my memory started fading after yeah yeah died
he looked just as cute as before
i only fell that he has gone fast asleep

moment has to come
when this happen
i guess we have all been prepared
and we certainly coped with it much better than if it happened a few years back
after all
he was virtually painfree

but
how am i going to recover
when my heart's been riped off from my chest

ter ter
i will miss u till the day i die
mimi and the other kitties havent met u
but i'm sure they know
please dont get lost

i'm sure we'll meet again at rainbow bridge
i hope by that time
u would have become the strong, energetic kid we used to know
painfree
stressfree

please come find us if you can
as life will become very very difficult without u

i love you
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